Judging Women? No thanks!

Being judged?😒

Did I hit your wounded spot?

Take few minutes to watch this video, I promise you're in for a surprise.

Hope you were able to relate like I did.

Aren't we, women judged for our abilities, capabilities, choices, intelligence & ambitions. We go through this every single day unless God is really kind and bless us with extra love someday!

No matter how many times women have proved themselves in almost every area of work, even in male dominant sectors, reached the heights of establishments in various forums, be it corporate, business, politics, agriculture, hospitality, e-commerce and many more, yet women as leaders, engineers, finance smart, athletes - the fact is that is not easily digested.

Let me share couple of my own experiences, happened some time ago.

I found my old pictures from 2006 & 2008 around three months back.

In first picture, I was awarded by Kiran Bedi & Kiran Khair for "Excellence in Academics", in AHA Delhi, and other one was when I got awarded for my painting at national museum.

Since I'm referring to the time when there was hardly any social media, many from that era would remember Orkut as first social media site in India (wink), so I posted these pictures for the first time on Instagram and WhatsApp status, I was amazed to see the responses, comments on them.

Some of them were like "congratulations, why did you not pursue acting & dancing?" assuming I was awarded for a stage show, another one said "Great, you must have great connections to get there" as if I cannot be awarded for my own capability & creativity if I don't have a so called 'connection'.

When I started my own business & had to do content writing for my products & services considering limited team, I was perceived as "oh, so now you have become a trainer. Girls are good with teaching". Even when I attended convocation at Shiv Nadar University as Project Manager, for a collaborative initiative between university and my organisation, I was flooded with WhatsApp messages asking me if I joined the university as a faculty member.

I am sure you all have come across such experiences too. It is like women are expected to choose from limited areas residing in narrow minded people's brains.

It seems the time hasn't changed for them, some don't even want to see women at higher positions - yes, I've been across men who are not comfortable with female bosses despite their potential & capabilities. 

And some of them, come from such a background which gives them a hard time understanding this side of women too.

We women are being judged from our education, job, working in night shifts, male friends, travelling alone, being out with colleagues instead of dinner at home, not cooking and cleaning like old time mothers,  putting ourselves first to choose career over family, driving on our own, being independent of finances & decision making .. the list is never ending!

Even if I keep career choices & skills aside for a minute. There are plenty of instances of judgement like;

I was rejected for a marriage proposal once only for being too independent, the guy wanted someone he can control & keep in a box, sounds familiar right? 

One day a policeman caught me saying that my car is in no parking zone and asked me to call my "husband", I was like excuse me - I don't have one, then he asked me to call my "father" and I was amused - I told him that this car is in my name, I hold the right & papers - let me know what to do. He was shocked as if I stole my own car (sigh).. so I just laughed it out!

Now how do we, women overcome this?

When will be the day when women are considered as human beings beyond labels & tags? When does this stop? Will we ever be able to make our own choices without fear of judgement?

The brutal truth is we cannot change the society & people's mindset overnight.

However let me add some of my learnings from my own life experience that may help you to top up your game.

1. Be honest to yourself - don't let anyone manipulate or diverge your choices
2. Choose Peace - no need to take things personally, learn to chill & ignore whenever possible
3. Accept & Acknowledge - some people would never change, accept judgment as a part & parcel of society
4. Don't Settle - don't limit your own potential because of society's limited belief & stereotypes
5. Be compassionate & kind to yourself
6. Count your blessings, appreciations & people who believe in you
7. Learn from experiences, choose your mode based on audience - no need to explain things to all
8. Introduce yourself - Take the opportunity to define yourself when being judged
9. Do not judge others, just like you do not want to

I would love to learn from you too so feel free to drop your words of wisdom in the comments section below.