MIND IT... A Guide to Basics!

I really had to gather all my courage and confidence to write this, and a little more to share this with you.

The world we live in is beautiful and wonderful, all because of the people we're living with. We share our lives with so many people directly or indirectly on daily basis, and we impact the surrounding lives too. 

Over the years, I realized that a lot of things or events happen around us which are uncomfortable and disturbing to our minds, and yet we tend to live with it.

This happens in all areas like personal, professional and social life, but we either ignore it or move on with it despite the feeling of unsettled.

If you are an over or deep-thinker like me, then you might understand the feeling & thoughts we go through when someone behaves differently with us.

These behaviour can be manipulation, selfishness, suppression etc. I don't know much of heavy words but I also go through this as a human being, a normal one like you.

Someway or the other, we all are beneficiaries or maleficiaries of the actions and behaviour - be it people around us or us.

I must confess, even I've acted like numb victim to some behaviours and nuisances instead of calling it out loud.

I also realized that value system plays such a bigger role in our lives, that for some if one thing is wrong, for the other one it's right. For some, everything's just alright.

Hence it becomes a challenge to acknowledge, accept and point out the events causing mental discomfort and uneasiness in our day to day lives.

Therefore a lot of mental health issues are rising, people are affected but won't accept it. Many still don't realise that human memory storage can be dangerous too if there are unsaid emotions. 

Do not worry, this is not a lecture about mental health, however it's a good idea to keep a check on our behaviours because the change starts with me & you. We all have, including me may also have said or done something which is morally inappropriate. If we are sensitive towards other people, gradually we would also see a change for us, and the society.

"Saying, don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours". (Everybody's Free, Song by Baz Luhrmann)

Here's a quick guide to some of the basic points where we can save others and ourselves from micro traumas of life.

• Don't make fun of anyone's name, be it first or last.
• Don't mock people by copying their accent.
• Don't make fun of anyone's language.
• Don't try to speak a language you don't know or understand, unless necessary.
• Don't ask personal questions to anyone - why are you single? Why are you not living with parents? Unless you're really good friend and welcomed like one.
• Don't comment on anyone's work, job or profile. They're working hard and earning their bread & butter, you hold no right to comment unless you've something better to offer to support them.
• It is ok to have different expertise and experiences, don't make someone feel dumb. We all have been naive & beginners at some point in life.
• RISE through BIAS. I have seen lot of biases throughout my life varying from race to colour, region to religion, rich to poor, freshers to leaders, and could never understand the logic to it.
• STOP when it comes to body shaming. If you're genuinely concerned about their weight, weakness or scars, better talk to them as a buddy than finding ways to embarrass them.
• Invite appropriately if you genuinely want to invite someone, never say "you can come if u want or you can also come". This is quite disrespectful.
• Be a good example, and treat people as you would like to be treated if you're in their place.

• When someone offers to help on something, appreciate it. In fact, learn things for next time instead of being dependent.
• Remember they chose to help you so don't make it a noose for them.
• Don't keep on checking whereabouts of people as data collector.
• Don't invade someone's privacy, means do not comment or do anything that leads to breach of anyone's privacy.
• Don't ask people about their income and materialistic achievements. It's none of your business, unless you're in business with them.
• Don't take people for granted. Just because they were available to you doesn't mean it should continue.
• Be open minded & try to listen on opinions that differs to yours.
• Don't Assume. My teachers from academy used to say that "if you Assume, you make an ass of you and me", which simply means don't just make up things about someone or something in your head. Be proactive and ask clearly to avoid any embarrassing moment in future.
• If you can't make it easier for them, stay away, no need to make it difficult.
• Hold & crush that thought of manipulation unless it's for non-selfish cause.
• Be generous to give the credit to the one who deserved. You might steal the shine today by putting your name on that report, but don't be surprised when thunder comes for you too.

I am sure you must have been able to relate on few or many of these points. These are the major ones from my own life experience, and I really "mind my tongue and thoughts" to ensure I don't hurt anyone intentionally or unintentionally. 

At the same time, I applaud and appreciate people who have been really kind, understanding and forgiving people despite such experiences. We owe you for real.

Though I request all to please call out if something if incorrect morally, this is the only way we would learn.